grief ..

July 15, 2007. Today my mom died suddenly.

Touching bases ..

It's after 1:15 am and the house is finally quiet. I just wanted to pop on for a minute to say it's been crazy around here - ever since my family arrived from Japan. Being hostess to three non-English-speaking house guests is a challenge, to say the least but we've been managing.

Just as soon as I get a chance, I'll post a few things I've been working on in-between the touristing and I hope some of the photos I've been taking turned out because I'd like to share them with you too.

It's been hot here, how about there?

It's been so nice lately that I've spent a lot of time outside. My geek-white legs are actually getting a little color!

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm not usually so klutzy but last post I told you about how I'd injured 3 digits of my left hand in as many days. Looks like I've started on my right hand now.



My husband has been out of town on business for the better part of 3 weeks so I'm looking forward to his return so he can help protect me from myself!

This is the bucket I made for the Bucket of Sunshine swap going on over at Sweet Goodness swaps. I can't wait to fill it full of goodies for my partner.





This is the teacup I got for my partner at the swap hosted by Mary Ann and her sister, Jo over at the Vintage Tea Room. I had a lot of fun shopping for it and learned a lot about cups and saucers while I was on my quest.



Oh! I signed on with Jess' Embroidered Button swap. Go check it out over here

I think it's the only new thing I'll sign up for until mid-late August because I'm expecting company from Japan next week and they'll be here for SIX weeks! My aunt and uncle don't speak English and my cousin speaks a teeny bit. So, we'll be kind of preoccupied around here playing tourist/guide. But hey! If you think you'll be in my area, let me know because I'd love to meet up with you. :)

The other day, Raesha tagged me for a meme and I sat down and completed it that night but forgot to post it, so here it is:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope. My mom wanted to name me Elena Maria but couldn't spell it (English was definitely not her first language, much less Spanish!)

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
About 3 weeks ago. I don't often cry (except at really sappy movies).

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
Sometimes – when I'm tired or unwell, it's pretty crappy :)

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
roast turkey

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One daughter and full-time care of my grandson

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
It depends

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
Yep

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not intentionally, but if I accidently fall off a mountain or building or something, I sure hope I have one attached!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?
Any "sweet" cereal that doesn't go soggy in milk right away

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
nah

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically – yes, when I'm feeling well
Emotionally - Usually

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
Vanilla but I do like to indulge in BR's PB&C on occasion

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their countenance

15. RED OR PINK?
Both

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My weight. I wish I could lose 15 lbs.
(Ok, I lied. I hate my boobs more than being 15 lbs overweight. If they were smaller, I'd look 15 lbs lighter!)

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
My dad

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
It would be fun to see if others filled it out, so yeah.

19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm wearing dark blue linen shorts and I'm barefoot.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
homemade guacamole and tortilla chips

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Quiet

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
What a goofy question.

23. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
oranges and tangerines
Fresh baked cupcakes
A pot of chili on a cold winter day

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My husband

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Very much so!

26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
martial arts

27. HAIR COLOUR?
dark brown

28. EYE COLOUR?
Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Sometimes but lately, I've been wearing my glasses a lot

30. FAVOURITE FOOD?
Japanese and Mexican

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I don't watch scary movies. I hate being startled! I love happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
At the cinema: Oceans 13
At home: Cold Mountain

33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
White tshirt with Reebok written on the front

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Spring :p But I suppose if I have to choose, I'd choose summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Both?

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
I hope everyone

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
I don't know.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Little girls in blue. Ever since I was in a terrible accident nearly 3 years ago, it's difficult for me to read novels so it takes me a long time.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
ladybugs in electric colors but I don't use my desktop computer too much these days

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Nothing

42. FAVOURITE SOUND?
the sound of nature: birds chirping, crickets rubbing their legs together, the breeze, mountain streams, etc.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
I like the beatles but only after the LATE 60s, early 70s.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Japan

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I cook well? I can network a house and administer Linux and Unix? I think I have a lot of "talents" but I'm not sure they're special.


46. WHERE WERE YOU BOR?
Indianapolis, Indiana

47. WHAT SUPERPOWER WOULD YOU LIKE?
The power to heal everything from boo-boos to broken hearts.

I'm not going to tag anyone by name, but if you do the meme, please let me know so I can have a little peek at your answers.

Next on my list: houseslippers for Christmas presents and embroidered buttons.

Happy Birthday Raesha!

First of all, Happy Birthday Raesha! May you have many, Many, MANY more!

Saturday morning, I remembered I-man was invited to a birthday party on Sunday afternoon and I hadn't finished (hah! I hadn't even started) the gifts we were going to take. So I had to get cracking on that. It threw me off my original schedule but that's ok because I've nearly caught up (again). I made a couple of toddler-sized bibs and a little pink tote for her and we got her a SIGG (made in Switzerland) waterbottle. I-man has one and it keeps cold water cold for quite a while. Because it's metal, it's virtually indestructible, which is pretty important when a toddler is involved. :)





Early Sunday morning, I smashed my left index finger when I was using the hammer to cut out my charms. Hehe. Bet you're wondering how I did that! Anyway, it hurt pretty bad and I couldn't bend my finger after doing it. In itself, that was bad enough but the other day, I cut the thumb of my left hand with a porcelain knife through my thumbnail and into the meat of my thumb. So, I was really feeling "handicapped" by losing those two digits. Needless to say, I set the project aside for a bit!



The birthday party was in Divide and on the way home, I drove through the Garden of the Gods. I love that park. I stopped at the visitor center to take a quick picture and squish a few pennies before heading home again.



The sky was overcast and it was around 6pm so it looks kind of dark. But I think it still gives a pretty good view of what the park looks like at the main entrance.

After I-man was in bed for the night, I finished up the journal cover and got that packed and ready to post. I took the photo at night, so it's not very good. When I was trimming threads, I sliced the ring finger of my left hand. So, within 2 days, I've injured three fingers. Sob! Maybe my parents should have named me Grace(less!). Hah!



By last night, the swelling of my index finger finally went down enough for me to use it to sew so I worked on the fabric charms. I finished them this morning and I'm happy to say, they're posted and on their way to Dawn.





They were supposed to be about the size of a postage stamp and I think I did pretty well. It was really hard to work on them because 1)they're small and 2)my fingers are covered in bandaids. ;)

Next projects on the list: favorite word ATCs and house slippers!

Today's Projects

Today was a beautiful day so I didn't spend very much time inside. When I put The Boy down for his nap, I made a couple of things. The first thing is an anklet made of black leather cording and SS crimps with 2 beads and a love charm. There's also a small charm hanging off the clasp too. I guess I should have put something behind it so you could see it better - sorry about that.



The second thing was supposed to be a tote but I ran precariously short on fabric so I had to make a hobo-style strap. There are a couple pockets inside and out. I love both the fabrics. They're so closely colored they almost look like they companion fabrics but they're not. The clasp is a large vintage button.



Tomorrow I hope to finish a journal cover and start on the fabric charms that are due. Hopefully those will both be in the post on Saturday. We'll see how successful I am. After those things, I'll finish up my fabric charms and my "bucket." Whew! Next week I'm going to start a couple pairs of house slippers. They're Christmas presents!

It's remarkable how far I got behind while I was allowing the burdens of my life bear me down. I can't afford to get into another funk again! :)

Lady bug, lady bug, fly away home ...

I had so many OTHER things I should have been working on today, but decided to get this project out of the way. About a month ago, I got a new jeep liberty and the tire cover has driven me crazy. I felt like I was a rolling billboard for the dealership.



I went to two fabric stores to find what I needed and for about two weeks, I've been moving it from one part of my dining room to another as I worked on other things. It was very rainy today and so The Boy and I spent the day inside. He drove his tow trucks around while I sat on the floor, cut fabric and ironed some heavy duty heatnbond.

It took me a while to assemble it all and when my husband came home and told me his palm pilot had died, I jumped at the opportunity to leave the project for a few while he went to buy a new one. Michael's is in the same strip mall so guess where I went? ;) When we got back home, I enlisted his help to hold up one side as I sewed through many layers of thick fabrics. And this is how it turned out.



After I snapped the picture, he went to install it on the tire and of course, I had to run out and take another photo. I'll probably take another one sometime when it's not raining - but you know .. I took it for posterity's sake. :)



BRK = Breckenridge (where we have a family cabin) and the bottom thing is the Japanese flag. I don't really like bumper STICKERS so I put them onto a magnet thing and can take them off anytime I want.

Tomorrow, I'm back to my regularly scheduled programming :)

You are some wonderful people!

To those of you who sent me your wonderful words of encouragement, I can't tell you how much they've carried me. Things are still difficult but I just have to learn how to live with these (very serious) issues going on around me and I can't continue to let it drag me down into that dark abyss.

My daughter is choosing her own path. My husband and I have given her the tools to make responsible (and smart) choices but she's not a youth anymore so the choices are hers to make. All we can do is hope that if she hits bottom, it doesn't break her.

So, I'm going to pick myself up and move forward. I much prefer the cheery days. I miss talking and hanging out with my girlfriends because I've been keeping myself apart from them too. Sometimes it feels easier to withdraw, but when a person does that then how can friends help?

Anyway ...

I'm going to start posting updates again and if it goes bad around me, I'll probably tell you all about it, but I need this. This is a connection to good things and good people and if I step away too long, I'll lose touch. I can't let her choices cast too big a shadow over my life.

Thanks for being there.

Meanwhile, I've signed up for a few more swaps. I joined in on Dawn's charm swap. I'm very excited about this one as I've never done anything like it before. I put my name in for the Bucket Full of Summer Fun over at Sweet Goodness Swaps and The Midsummer's Vintage Teacup Swap over at The Vintage Tea Room. I've already got my plan made for my "bucket," I've been rifling through my fabric bits for the charm swap and I already found a teacup! When I decided I couldn't put my life on hold any longer because I was fearing what would happen with my daughter, I took myself out and went shopping! Whee! I got quite the lesson about teacups from this lovely German woman at an antique shop. It was wonderful .. and freeing.

Anyway, forgive my "moment" of gloom - but I'm going to do my best to put it behind me now.